Should You Get Back With Your Ex? 7 Honest Questions to Ask Yourself First
Thinking about getting back with your ex? You're not alone.
Sometimes, the heart wants what it had—but that doesn’t always mean it’s right. Before you slide back into those old DMs or start replaying the highlight reel in your head, let’s walk through a few honest questions that can help you decide if a second chance is worth the leap.
💡 Already know you want them back? Click here to learn how to do it right—without chasing, begging, or breaking your own heart.
❤️ Why Do You *Really* Want Them Back?
Ask yourself: Is it love... or loneliness? Is it nostalgia... or real connection? 🧠 Getting back with an ex out of fear of being alone or starting over often leads right back to heartbreak. Be honest with yourself about what’s pulling you back in.
⚠️ Have the Core Problems Been Resolved?
If the issues that tore you apart are still lingering, nothing’s really changed. 🚫 Did you struggle with trust, communication, or feeling emotionally safe? Unless there’s been real reflection and effort—on both sides—you might just be pressing "repeat" on an old pattern.
🔁 Are You Just Repeating a Cycle?
Some relationships become a revolving door: break up, makeup, repeat. 🔄 If this isn’t your first reunion talk, take a step back. Are you falling into comfort or choosing growth? There’s a big difference between going back and moving forward.
📊 Did the Good Outweigh the Bad?
No relationship is perfect. But was it *mostly* good? Were you respected, heard, and emotionally fulfilled? If the highs were rare and the lows were constant, that’s not chemistry—it’s chaos.
🌱 Have You Both Grown Since the Breakup?
Time apart can be healing—or just time. ⏳ Have you taken steps to work on yourself? Do you feel confident they’ve done the same? A healthy reunion starts with two people who’ve grown, not just two people who miss each other.
💬 Are You Willing to Communicate Differently This Time?
The same habits will get the same results. 🗣️ If you’re considering a second shot, commit to showing up with emotional honesty and a willingness to really listen. That’s how love gets rebuilt.
🔮 Are You Truly Compatible Long-Term?
Sometimes, love isn’t enough. 🧩 If your values, goals, or emotional needs are wildly different, it doesn’t matter how much you care. A lasting relationship requires alignment, not just attraction.
Still leaning toward a second chance? Then go in with open eyes, a stronger heart, and a better game plan. And if you're still unsure, that’s okay too. Clarity is a form of closure.
For more insight into love, check out our post on How to Say I Love You Without Saying It—especially helpful if words were part of the problem before.
With love,
Vic Valentine Love Doctor 💋 No co-pay required.
P.S. Second chances aren’t easy—but they can be worth it. Here’s a step-by-step method to help you reach out the right way, no matter who you’re hoping to win back.